WAR IS OVER (If You Want it)

WAR IS OVER (If You Want It)

The Gay Marriage Countdown Flag of America

"No State shall make or enforce any law which shall abridge the privileges or immunities of citizens of the United States; nor shall any State deprive any person of life, liberty, or property, without due process of law; nor deny to any person within its jurisdiction the equal protection of the laws." - The United States Constitution This flag represents the states of the U.S. that have extended marriage equality to all of its citizens. States where "equal protection of the laws" means just that. Equal. Where "life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness" for all, isn't put up for a popular vote, in this "land of the free". States that recognize ALL people are created equal. This US flag is for you, and your beautiful, "true patriot" citizens. Thank You!!!

Stand By Me

Dream: "When You and Sleep Escape Me"

This post first appeared HERE as "WHEN YOU AND SLEEP ESCAPE ME". I have been dreaming lots lately. Well, let me clarify that. I dream lots anyway, but recently I have had very vivid dreams that feel very symbolic. Yet I haven't been paying enough attention to them. Two nights ago I woke with heart a-racing, to discover the light of the full moon peaking through the only gap in the blinds, directly onto my forehead. Last night I dreamt that I was in a huge, lush field, sitting by a wire fence, beyond which was a strip of grass and then a forest. On the outer edge of the forest, the trees were hazelnut. I could see several windfall hazelnuts on the grass just beyond the fence. So through I clamber to grab some. I get a handful, some of them were in doubles, covered in their leafy cases. Suddenly I hear and feel the thunder of horses' hooves, and look to my left to see four galloping towards me. I scamper back under the fence as they race past. I sit and crack open the hazelnuts between two stones, remembering how succulent they are when they are so fresh. I want some more, so I dare myself to venture in again, and whilst I am picking some from the tree, here they come again. But this time I stand quietly just inside the trees, and watch. They seem to go by in slow motion and I just stare in awe. When I woke up, still in darkness, I felt sure I could see the faint glow of a street-lamp shining through the gap in the wardrobe....... Here is my analysis of thsi dream Hum...seems vaguely sexual but not sure. Do you have a history with horses? By that, I mean is there some place you lived, or some place that had horses, or someone you know who has such an association? Or they might be primitive symbols of your own unleashed id. This is quite a nice dream story, mate. Very nice, and the sort that makes one want to get you onto their psychoanalyst’s couch. Dreams are of course our sub-conscious and primitive brain parts communicating with us (i.e. chiming in with their two cents worth). It’s natural language is a linear series of picturographic (apparently I just invented a new word) scenes that are highly symbolic. White there are some universal symbols that would be common to human kind, the bulk are personalized to one’s cultural and personal experiences. The BEST art (and why bother with any other kind???) plucks these same primitive subconscious strings. The visual arts probably come closest to the same language – visual symbols, though music is the highest and most hiu8ghly evolved of all the art forms. I like a lot of your photographs as you seem to instinctually tap into that vein – images that communicate with the viewing audience much like dreams do to the somnambulant person.

Saturday Night Soup for the Soul (61)

nother recent series of dreams. Dream One I dreamt that I was a woman.  I was walking in a Roman era winding maze.  The walls were about 10 feet high and made of beautiful classically Roman stones with Roman decorative touches.  The floor was roman mosaic.  It was out of doors – there was no ceiling.  The bright blue sky and clouds were visible above.  It was very pleasantly warm.  It was here I discovered that I had transformed into a woman.  And I determined that I was exquisitely beautiful.  I gasped at the realization that I was a total knock-out with long dark brown black hair.  I was wearing sandals and wrapped in a towel.  It seems I was in some sort of coed Olympic sports training facility for prized athletics.   I came upon the “lesbians” locker room.  Immediately a bunch of diesel dykes - sort of garish looking mannish women began closing in on me and pawing on me.  Experiencing the pack of mannish women all pawing on me at once, I thought “Ohmygod, so this is how creepy it feels to have people all pawing on you.  Not pleasing as an experience.    I was not a lesbian, and sort of excused myself by thanking them for the "flattering attention", but telling them that I was not into woman on woman sex.  I continued and reached the coed locker room.  The men all stopped what they were doing, turned, and took one look at me. At once their jaws dropped as they gazed in silence at my beauty.  But they seemed so awestruck that they all were scared to approach such a beautiful woman thinking they would get rejected by me.  I thought “Oh my god, so it IS true that a ravishingly beautiful woman cannot get a date”. The scene then shifted to the vast and endless steppes and mint green spring grasslands of Mongolia.  I am now a warrior queen (the same one as before though) riding a sturdy Mongol horse in the company of Genghis Khan who is teaching me to shoot while I ride.  We ride, free and wild.   Dream Two    he second dream finds me kissing an exquisitely and breathtakingly goddess like deity of a woman.  Being that I am 100% a gay male, this at first glance seems to be an odd dream.  The feeling I had while kissing her was the most powerful and all exhilarating feeling imaginable.  As if my soul were being propelled through all time and space with pure love and joy radiating within and around every cell of my inner and outer being.   It was like falling up into heaven.  It was being joined to the celestial whole of all that has even been in this incarnation of the universe. Shattered dreams, worthless years, Here am I encased inside a hollow shell, Life began, then was done, Now I stare into a cold and empty well The many sounds that meet our ears the sights our eyes behold, Will open up our merging hearts, And feed our empty souls I believe when I fall in love with you it will be forever, I believe when I fall in love this time it will be forever Dreams Three, Four and Five Again, I am with this same goddess portrayed in the above dreams, but in very ordinary situations and conversations.  In one it is me who is now counseling her about some decision she needs to make, helping her to evaluate the different things she should consider and weigh to arrive at the best decision.  In one of the dreams I recognize that she looks exactly like Gwyneth Paltrow (whose free spirited intelligence and personality I find MOST attractive). What do these dreams mean? Simple explanations are easy to come to, and most likely wrong.  Here is my take(s) on the recent series of connected dreams. I am a huge proponent of Carl Jung's theory of the human psyche and of the human soul.  I find him deeply spiritual in ways that resonate with me.  He theorized that within each male (and it works in a similar manner for females) there is an inner subconscious part of the whole which is an inner personality of the opposite sex (the "anima" for males and the "animus" for females). It is were one's opposite sex traits collect and from the unconscious influence our behavior for better or for worse, depending on what is held there.  It often appears in dreams - they mystery woman in a man's dream.  There are four stages of development of the anima from primitive to a state of full wisdom.  Mine has now, finally reached enlightened wisdom and is now fully integrated with my conscious self (that was the kiss). But on a different level, sort of my Proto-Buddhist view of the eternal soul which exists across time and space as serial incarnations, this is a classic Buddhist cosmology series of dreams, too.  Yes, I was in Roman times as a female gladiator.  Yes, I road and fought as a warrior queen with Khan across the steppes of Central Asia driving ever westward.  I was born with innate instinctual memories and familiar recognition of music, art of Central Asia from the first time I head it in this life.  It was familiar to me inner ear.  So I do believe that this is a parallel meaning and sub context for the dream. All my life I have thought that I will marry late in life.  Now, suddenly that time has come with this series of dreams.  So this week’s soup consists of one song, which is one of the most precious love songs ever recorded. God surely answered my prayer, God surely answered by prayer, You know God surely answered my prayer, You know God surely answered my prayer, God always will answer your prayers, Believe in one who will answer my prayer, Thank you God Come on, let's fall in love, You're the woman I've been waiting for, Come on, let's fall in love, You're the girl that I really adore, Come on, let's fall in love...  1. I Believe (When I Fall in Love It Will Be Forever) – The closing track off Stevie Wonder’s 1972 LP Talking Book.  This song is as good as it gets.  It has a shimmering musical transcendence hauling the listener up from the depths of despair to the alter of eternal love.  I offer this song, today, to the cosmos, wondering in what form it will all come back to me. All of this makes it's way into this week's soup. You can get your big ass bowl of Saturday Night Soup for the Soul by clicking the jukebox.

Saturday Night Soup for the Soul (44)

here is this round of dreams tracking my shattered personality (pretty sure it was shattered by trauma in childhood) that I have had – for YEARS now – a series of dreams where I live in multiple places – each sort of a compartment that exists in a fixed point in my life that I can jump between crossing time and space.   This decade’s long dream series that seem so real when I am having the dream. The first dream was a real feel good one in that I was at some professional conference with people I work with.  All the people I have ever worked with were unified and together.  It seemed so nice that some event had finally brought all of them together and I was very happy at this.  I remember that at one point a collection of Brits from Walker (software company in San Francisco that I worked for from 1984 to 1999) were getting Jolly on Brew and began singing rounds of Donavon songs.  One particular person, Neil Robertson, was especially full spirited.  He had a sort of “pudding basin” haircut in the dream.  His hair was strawberry blond.  He looked a bit daft in the haircut (a bit of Dumb and Dumber) even though in real life he is super smart.   My eyes caught his as he sang in joviality. It was nice to finally have the people – all the people – that I have ever worked with together. So last night (the second dream) saw me returning once again to a former home that in the dream, as always, I somehow still live in concurrently to all the other homes I still live in.  I was walking in late summer dry heat in a semi residential area along a road in a mythical place called “Guadalupe Del Sol Canyon” which was close to the Sunset District of San Francisco.  I was with someone named Marilyn - my oldest friend from age twelve and who I touched bases with in the past three months only to learn she is mentally ill.  We came to what I believed to be my house in San Francisco – address 1226 which is my current house number and was not my San Francisco house number. I opened a garage door that gave me access to an interior courtyard (in the dream, did not exist in real life).  Everything seemed repainted in bright enamel hues and changed.  Then I realized it was not my home after all – and that I still had a ways to go.  This house was now an inn with a restaurant and outdoor patio. People were seated drinking, eating lite lunches in the dry heat, overlooking a valley filled with shimmering golden grass.  Looked a bit like the Napa Valley.  Or Los Gatos where Marilyn once had a connection (her dad still lives there and I drove thru it last summer).  I went to the gate having to push through people who were trying to come into the establishment to do business. I walked across the valley and Marilyn could not keep up with me despite my trying to keep her with me and on track crossing the valley.  I wanted to guide her to safety.  However, I lost her.  I looked across the wide valley and saw others, but she was not among them.  Oh well…  Then I saw a man holding a dog that looked more like a large fox.  The dog had been bit by something.  I surmised that Rattlesnakes could be in the hot dry grass.  The man reached me.  His dog (no longer looking like a fox) was okay and had not been bit. He put the dog down to continue the same direction I was going to my San Francisco home. Gesturing to the vast valley before us (and the houses I had started the dream with on the far side) I told him “This valley was once a prehistoric lake bed” Bad news On a Tuesday night (Jan 22, 2013) I had a terrible pain in my left temple as I tried to go to sleep.  I have been battling this terrible cold that has spread up here that goes into your lungs (had that all last week – thought I would crack my ribs coughing) then up into you sinus area.  All day long I had had flashing pains throughout my teeth and jaw.  Have had that before and even TWICE gone to the dentist only to have nothing found in regards to my teeth.   So I thought that was it (sinusitis).   Yet something very odd was happening that I have never experienced before.  The area on the side of my face was both hot and cold at once. In the middle of the night I got up to pee.  I suddenly realized I had no balance and my legs were not responding correctly – notably the right one.  That woke me up big time fearing I could fall.  When I got up in the morning it seemed even worse.  Put in the morning eye drops which always feel cold (hold over from Lasik eye surgery is dry eyes).  The right eye was normal (felt cold).  But the left eye drops felt like hot water.  Was bizarre.  Sort of scary. Walking down stairs was weird.  It was as if my right leg was now six inches longer than it used to be and was therefore reaching the stair before it SHOULD have been reaching the stair.  I know that sounds crazy but that is as accurate a description as I can write.   I knew something was definitely wrong and not in a good way. Went to work wondering what I should do.   Mind was normal working on Excel VBA code and SQL.  At a late lunch I called a consulting nurse and said “I think I may either have a sinus infection or have had a mini stroke last night”.  After I told her what I wrote above and after 5 minutes of answering her questions she advised me to go to ER via ambulance immediately. She did not want me driving.  I DEFINITLY did not want to be in an ambulance so called my boss to see if she would take me (she was in a meeting) so called roommate.  He came and took me. Arrived during a total hospital lock down due to armed threat (husband or boyfriend of a nurse with a gun).  Got in.  Had EKG, blood, urine, mental and physical tests and Cat Scan.  All had normal results.  Blood pressure got down to 124/72 which is amazing considering I weigh 280.  My roommate kept complaining at what an imposition it was on his life to have to take me there and wait.  I told him to go home (I wish I had driven myself) and made a mental note about this for future reference. So they did a MRI scan which is a strange process.  Seven scans lasting from 2 to 7 minutes apiece where you have to be 100% motionless.  I sneezed during # 6 (2 minute one) and had to redo it.  Then comes an IV of some stuff that allows them to see leaks or blockages followed by  two more scans of 3.5 and 2 minutes respectively. Then came more waiting.  Heard an African America elderly mother or grand mother and her adult daughter/granddaughter in the waiting cube across from me.  The daughter had done something that related to her now being in ER.  She was told by someone on the ER Staff that she needed a counselor follow up.  Grandma agreed.  She had a test for cervix cancer (routine?).  I overheard the mother/grandma told her that “some family member had been talking to Satin”.  One of them kept flatulating very loudly, way wet and messy sounding. After that I rapidly started to get dressed as I wanted now to leave and be home.  Those people left, and a mother and a screaming baby came in.  She and someone else had each given the baby Tylenol and thought the baby may OD or die.   She was 16 (I overheard her birth date and the baby’s birthdate from late last year) and was 15 when the baby was born.   Hispanic.   The dose turns out was totally okay for the baby.  Thank god she came and it was okay. Finally my Doctor came in with MRI results.  No infection but a narrowing of an artery in my left temple area.  This one feeds brain area that controls body sensation of heat and cold (hence the HOT and COLD sensation at the same time and the HOT sensation of eye drops).  My cholesterol is good so this mini stroke event could be congenital (my dad had this) or a combination of factors. Next step I go to see a neurologist to see what he wants to advise me to do next.  Earliest available appointment is in April… In the mean time I have cut out anything bad from my diet, take an aspirin a day and stay active walking (they said that I have the worst job I could have – sitting and experiencing stress). Something I have not mentioned: Something has seemed off, not right, up in my head for about three years.  Hard to describe but I think I have felt something of this condition now for three years.  Stay tuned.   And if I die - goodbye and good luck to you all.    And now let us break bread and share Saturday Night Soup. 1. Chanting Buddha's Holy Name is what it says it is.  Thank you Robert Ho for once sending this to me.  I treasure your memory and miss you. All of this makes it's way into this week's soup. You can get your bowl of Saturday Night Soup by clicking the jukebox.

Saturday Night Soup for the Soup (34)

his was to be a totally different Soup. One friend has a detail draft (the "Facebook" draft). Another has the link to the music that was to be ("Be Grateful" et al.) Before I could refine this, the ground began to shift beneath my feet. First, it morphed in my imagination to the phrase "If you cannot bring Good News, then don't bring any". and the song that lyric comes from. But tonight, Passover; a night with a jaw dropping sunset setting the waters of Puget Sound on fire with blinding reflected light, as the sun god finally sank behind the purple snow capped Olympic Mountains; the night that I freed myself (and hopefully someone else) from 35 years (1974-2009) of malformed emotions; and finally, the night I cleared the emotional deck, freeing me at last to journey to the undiscovered country of the heart, I will simply bring you all GOOD NEWS. I won't even tell you what the news is - in words that is. I am far too shy to ever do that. However, I will say it all, in image and music. And those who possess special eyes in their heart will understand it all. But first... I could not decide which picture to use, so created a collage with elements of four pictures taken from my back yard this week, In it you see two daffs, red rhododendron strigillosum, rhododendron April Rose, a but if Mugo Pine, and my Flowering Plum. Above is another spring favorite: the Hyacinth. There few that you see here, fill one half of my back yard with a heavenly sweetness on a warm spring day, as we had on Monday. And lastly, what is SPRING without Cherry Blossom Pink. In my previous Soup, I wrote:. In the deepest darkness, the brightest light is found. And so it has come to pass. This week's soup comes from a single piece of music. A song, which is really a medley of four songs, connected. In the final song, the other three songs are reintroduced so that all four are playing simultaneously. The piece of music closes the 1973 Wings LP Red Rose Speedway. This is the moment where Paul got his mojo back, following the deep depression he sank into following the demise of another band that he used to be a member of, named the Beatles. It was released in April 1973, and is filled with the explosive energy of Spring. It is an extremely happy LP, and was a sign of great and even happier things that lie just around the next bend of the road of life. The four songs that make up this piece of music are: "Hold Me Tight" "Lazy Dynamite" "Hands of Love" "Power Cut" There are secret messages behind some of the songs on this LP, including a secret message in this music, which becomes apparent if you know how to listen in "Power Cut". Even the back of the LP contains a Braille secret message reading "Stevie We Love You" referring to Stevie Wonder. And that is all that I am going to say. Anyway, the music says it all, making words unnecessary. All of this makes it's way into this week's soup. You can get your 15.2 Mb bowl of Saturday Night Soup by clicking the jukebox.

Gay Day May Day Gardener

Saturday Night Soup for the Soul (42)

here was once a certain person, who I thought was my friend.  I realized some time ago to my great sorrow that he was not. The past several weeks, I have  watched from the sidelines as he upped and abandoned his most lovely and rock solid faithful wife and kids for a dirty and insane (mental, emotional and /or spiritual insanity is after all an absolute  pre-requisite trait that one must possess before they surrender long-term their life and soul to any cult, religious or not) Seventh Day Adventist cult whore.  So everything good that I ever witnessed him say or do, and there was overwhelming evidence suggesting that he was rock solid in the personal integrity character traits that matter in this world, are now all  called to question.   Demolished is a better description of what has become of his reputation. My subject, we will call him Frito, has used the same fig leaf that scoundrels everywhere have used thru the ages, and continue to use today.  He is playing the false  “I am with the only true church and with the only true Lord and the rest of you are with Satan” card to try and mask the fact that at his bedrock soul, he is, in the words of my brother who figured this out three years ago, "just another Puerto Rican shit bag" man-whore.   Though I long ago realized that there was "something a bit off” about him, I never in a million years thought he would exhibit such selfishness and cruelty as I have witnessed these past several months.  El Güebón.  ¡Que bruto!   Yo sé como bate el cobre. Forsake, forsake your house carpenter And come away with me I'll take you where the green grass grows On the shores of sunny Italy So up she picked her babies three And gave them kisses, one, two, three Saying "take good care of your daddy while I'm gone And keep him good company." His widow who I will call Grace (I call her a widow because the man she loved is now dead and has been replaced by a Seventh Day Adventist cult man-whore) is devastated. I had gently warned her a year ago that one of the other fat slob cult whores was licking her chops like a glowing crimson-eyed she-devil starring at Frito and Gracie as she danced with her husband in their home. She dismissed my worries as a figment of my imagination   Oh what are those hills yonder, my love They look as white as snow Those are the hill of heaven, my love You and I'll never know   Oh what are those hills yonder, my love They look as dark as night Those are the hills of hell-fire my love Where you and I will unite   Now seeing this transpire, and witnessing Gracie’s pain has pushed my own buttons and raised some childhood issues.  My own rotten and selfish father (and believe me, he got exactly what he had coming to him in the end) abandoned my mother, my brother and myself when I was 12 years old, on CHRISTMAS DAY, 1965.  Yes, you read that correctly.  He chose Christmas day to abandon his family to seek his own self-fulfillment.  To this day, I have zero tolerence for being subjected to any type of selfishness from others.  Both my father and apparent dumbass Frito. Like all whores, they live off someone else and use everyone to get what they want for free.  Frito did not take off his mask and show his true colours until he had the next woman he would live off lined up.   A dirty man-whore to the core.   Broki, bregaste cajita e pollo.  ¿Oiteh?   When I was with Gracie a week ago and she was on the verge of crying, I hallucinated my own mother’s face on hers for a short moment.    It is always unforgettable to see one person’s face superimposed upon another’s.   DREAM. I dreamt that I was in Gracie and Frito’s downstairs bedroom.  Frito had ram shacked the room, stealing everything that was not nailed down including the bed and leaving bits of busted up debris everywhere.  He was sitting on the single remaining wooden chair dressed in his blue collar work clothes.  His face was pale, gray, like a ghost or like someone who was of the living-dead.  He had no expression and he sat motionless in the chair.   As I looked around the bedroom to survey the scene, I saw that the carpet was stained with dirt, especially where their bed had once stood.  He had stolen the bed.  I tried to find the words, tentatively at first as I was unsure how to ask the question.  Then I finally asked him “Frito, what made you hate her (Gracie) so”?  I awoke. Oh twice around went the gallant ship I'm sure it was not three When the ship all of a sudden, it sprung a leak And it drifted to the bottom of the sea   And now let us break bread and share Saturday Night Soup.   1. House Carpenter a/k/a "The Daemon Lover" by Bob Dylan is based upon a 16th century Scottish ballad.  It can be enjoyed as both a literal story and as a biblical parable.  The literal story tells of a man who returns to a former lover after a very long absence, and finds her with a husband (the house carpenter in the story) and her children.  He entices her to leave them all  behind and come away with him, luring her with many ships laden with treasure. Together they board one of his ships and put to sea… The woman regrets leaving her children but does not regret abandoning her house carpenter husband.  From aboard the ship, her spirits soar when she spots snow white hills on the horizon.  Asking her companion lover what they are, he responds “Heaven” and informs her that they are destined to never know the place.  She then spots dark and foreboding hills on a different horizon.  Asking about them, her loved responds that “Those are the hills of hell-fire my love, where you and I will unite”.   The ship then sinks and they die together.   That is the story told by the song. But there is parable lurking inside the song.  A parable that concerns choices ones makes between truth and falseness.  The House Carpenter can be seen as a stand in of “Jesus Christ”, or more broadly as “things which are true”.  The stranger seduces her from The Truth and she runs away with the Great Liar and Seducer: Satan. With him, she perishes. This song was to be on Bob Dylan’s debut 1962 LP but did not make the cut.  After circulating for decades on bootlegs, it was finally released in 1991 on Dylan’s The Bootleg Series Volumes 1–3 (Rare and Unreleased) 1961–1991. All of this makes it's way into this week's soup. You can get your bowl of Saturday Night Soup by clicking the jukebox.

"Through a Window, Gothically"

Saturday Night Soup (38)

The best place to hide something is to place it in plain sight Years ago someone told me that I was a Buddhist, but did not yet know it. They said this because of a very specific dream that I told them of, that I had back in November 1999. The dream basically encompassed the whole of space and of time. And yes, it was a dark and stormy November night when I had the dream. In this dream, I was standing in a void in outer space, with the presence of an all knowing sentient intelligence beside me - the only way to describe it in conventional terms is that this was God - God had no conventional body - well, he did, and he didn't. There was a duality to his form. Sort of a fuzzy glow of being and presence. Hard to explain (you would have had to have been there). He was showing me all that ever was, all that is, and ever will be, until the very end of time itself. In the infinite distances of the void there was a soft fuzzy white glow a trillion times a trillion light years away. In that glow, all that ever was, is, and will be existed all at once in a singularity. And me, my tiny life, all I ever did from birth to death, was in that glow, and was so infinitely small a part of it as to be smaller that one atom is to the entire universe. I awoke horrified in the middle of the night. It scared me and seemed to have been a nightmare. The next morning as I awoke, I recalled the dream. A great comfort overtook me as I lay in bed. In my infinite smallness, there was also the clear sense that I am also an absolutely unique point of singularity in the whole of creation. No other point of intelligence is me. And at that realization, I was no longer a Christian -- as the label is understood by the increasingly cult Christianity minded people who dominate the American religious establishment. That is , I went to bed as one person and awoke the next morning transformed into quite a different person. I have a sense that Religion is a great thing, as it can bring you closer to truth. But there comes a time when it begins to restrain you from further progression on this path, much like a dog tethered to a rope of a certain length. Now days, I am forever trying to escape each and every rope that is bound to me, so that I might progress as far as I can in this life. And that includes those ropes that I myself fashioned and attached to myself. We all know that our own ropes can be the most difficult ones of all to discover, and to remove. And like all wise people, the more I learn, the more I realize that I have yet to know. The appears to be infinite opportunities for learning! This blog post would threaten some of my cultishly brittle and fragile friends, and bore most of the others to tears. See Luke 4:24 for what I am alluding to. 1. Big Barn Bed - In Soup # 34, I featured the musical section which closes this important 1973 career restoring LP by ex-Beatle Paul McCartney. This time, I feature the opening track from the Wings LP Red Rose Speedway. As I said before, this is the moment where Paul got his mojo back, following the deep depression he sank into following the demise of the Beatles. This is a kick ass soaring track, great drums (Denny Seiwell), bass (Paul, of course), a surprising acoustic guitar (Denny Laine) which adds an air of lightness, and the most delicious, tasty guitar work by Henry McCullough. And of course there are those soaring vocals which build and build until the end, where Paul tops it off with an electronic piano force de frappe. This is my favorite of all Wings line ups. Coinciding with this release, Paul released a tasty (and at times, delightfully strange) one-hour television show titled James Paul McCartney. The opening of the show featured a live performance of Big Barn Bed which you can watch below. music says it all, making words unnecessary. 2. Creepin - to be continued 3. Dr. Jimmy - to be continued 4. The Rock - to be continued 5. Love, Reign O're Me - to be continued You can get your big ass bowl of Saturday Night Soup for the Soul by clicking the jukebox icon. Good Nooze - Pain or no pain, I push, I push, and I push myself. About 5 nights a week. Always on an incredible unearthly high after each time. I am down about 23 lbs. No end in sight to this process. I cannot think of the last time I had such titanium resolve and determination. This is all part of the fulfillment of my destiny and purpose connected to this life. Most people live and die a life never pondering why they were here. Others come to this world for its big screen TV’s, tricked out toys and vehicles, and endless opportunities for kicking back and watching entertainment. Finally, there are the rare individuals who are hand chosen from the beginning for an intangible and abstract calling. I know why I am here. Do you reading this know why you are here? So I go to my closet tonight where I had some pants that were close to fitting. Four pairs are already too large, so from the closet to the discard pile they went. The person, who owned and wore them, has died. I have assumed ownership of own his house, his relationships, his career, his body, and his entire life now. I am rapidly making the most of it. Anything I do not like - will be changed. Anything I do not want or need - will be discarded. Anything I need that I find I do not have - will be earned and secured through hard work. Negative or crazy people – go elsewhere. Friends/Family suffering the negativity wallows (like a hippo stuck in a voluminous mud hole), or the crazies (and remember, “crazy” includes all forms of irrationality and suspension of reality) go into the freezer for later thawing. Continuing in the closet that I now own, I found a pair of khaki pants that I liked, but they do not quite fit. No problem. Will check them again in 3 or 4 weeks. I found a pair that almost fit, but need a button sewed on, so started that pile. I found a faded chocolate pair that fit like a glove now. I will wear tomorrow to work for my infamous high energy Thursday Morning Meeting (I do the equivalent stand-up comedy some weeks). It now has 18 people in it. I tried on a faded blue pull over that I have not worn in four years that fits perfectly now. I will wear that tomorrow, too. I have tons of clothes to explore this year. Some I have never worn (did not fit when I bought them). Despite the fact that I gave away a TON of great stuff (some w/tags) last December, I am happy as I know someone is happy somewhere. So I decided that I may be going to San Antonio this April. Work related. Not fully reimbursed, but the out of pocket (could be 2 grand) will be tax deductable as a 100% work related expense. Hot and dry in April sounds GREAT to me. Will buy a new camera for that. Need to find someone to feed my cats for a few days. But the big budget in the sky my preclude my doing this. Well, must start cranking down and think about sleeping soon. You all take care and "Hang on to yourself" - Me.