Sunday, April 14, 2013

Saturday Night Soup for the Soul (61)

nother recent series of dreams.

Dream One

I dreamt that I was a woman.  I was walking in a Roman era winding maze.  The walls were about 10 feet high and made of beautiful classically Roman stones with Roman decorative touches.  The floor was roman mosaic.  It was out of doors – there was no ceiling.  The bright blue sky and clouds were visible above.  It was very pleasantly warm. 

It was here I discovered that I had transformed into a woman.  And I determined that I was exquisitely beautiful.  I gasped at the realization that I was a total knock-out with long dark brown black hair.  I was wearing sandals and wrapped in a towel.  It seems I was in some sort of coed Olympic sports training facility for prized athletics.
I came upon the “lesbians” locker room.  Immediately a bunch of diesel dykes - sort of garish looking mannish women began closing in on me and pawing on me.  Experiencing the pack of mannish women all pawing on me at once, I thought “Ohmygod, so this is how creepy it feels to have people all pawing on you.  Not pleasing as an experience.    I was not a lesbian, and sort of excused myself by thanking them for the "flattering attention", but telling them that I was not into woman on woman sex. 

I continued and reached the coed locker room.  The men all stopped what they were doing, turned, and took one look at me. At once their jaws dropped as they gazed in silence at my beauty.  But they seemed so awestruck that they all were scared to approach such a beautiful woman thinking they would get rejected by me.  I thought “Oh my god, so it IS true that a ravishingly beautiful woman cannot get a date”.

The scene then shifted to the vast and endless steppes and mint green spring grasslands of Mongolia.  I am now a warrior queen (the same one as before though) riding a sturdy Mongol horse in the company of Genghis Khan who is teaching me to shoot while I ride.  We ride, free and wild.  

Dream Two
he second dream finds me kissing an exquisitely and breathtakingly goddess like deity of a woman.  Being that I am 100% a gay male, this at first glance seems to be an odd dream.  The feeling I had while kissing her was the most powerful and all exhilarating feeling imaginable.  As if my soul were being propelled through all time and space with pure love and joy radiating within and around every cell of my inner and outer being.   It was like falling up into heaven.  It was being joined to the celestial whole of all that has even been in this incarnation of the universe.

Shattered dreams, worthless years,
Here am I encased inside a hollow shell,
Life began, then was done,
Now I stare into a cold and empty well
The many sounds that meet our ears
the sights our eyes behold,
Will open up our merging hearts,
And feed our empty souls
I believe when I fall in love with you it will be forever,
I believe when I fall in love this time it will be forever

Dreams Three, Four and Five

Again, I am with this same goddess portrayed in the above dreams, but in very ordinary situations and conversations.  In one it is me who is now counseling her about some decision she needs to make, helping her to evaluate the different things she should consider and weigh to arrive at the best decision.  In one of the dreams I recognize that she looks exactly like Gwyneth Paltrow (whose free spirited intelligence and personality I find MOST attractive).

What do these dreams mean?
Simple explanations are easy to come to, and most likely wrong.  Here is my take(s) on the recent series of connected dreams.

I am a huge proponent of Carl Jung's theory of the human psyche and of the human soul.  I find him deeply spiritual in ways that resonate with me.  He theorized that within each male (and it works in a similar manner for females) there is an inner subconscious part of the whole which is an inner personality of the opposite sex (the "anima" for males and the "animus" for females).

It is were one's opposite sex traits collect and from the unconscious influence our behavior for better or for worse, depending on what is held there.  It often appears in dreams - they mystery woman in a man's dream. 

There are four stages of development of the anima from primitive to a state of full wisdom.  Mine has now, finally reached enlightened wisdom and is now fully integrated with my conscious self (that was the kiss).

But on a different level, sort of my Proto-Buddhist view of the eternal soul which exists across time and space as serial incarnations, this is a classic Buddhist cosmology series of dreams, too.  Yes, I was in Roman times as a female gladiator.  Yes, I road and fought as a warrior queen with Khan across the steppes of Central Asia driving ever westward.  I was born with innate instinctual memories and familiar recognition of music, art of Central Asia from the first time I head it in this life.  It was familiar to me inner ear.  So I do believe that this is a parallel meaning and sub context for the dream.
All my life I have thought that I will marry late in life.  Now, suddenly that time has come with this series of dreams.  So this week’s soup consists of one song, which is one of the most precious love songs ever recorded.

God surely answered my prayer,
God surely answered by prayer,
You know God surely answered my prayer,
You know God surely answered my prayer,
God always will answer your prayers,
Believe in one who will answer my prayer,

Thank you God

Come on, let's fall in love,
You're the woman I've been waiting for,
Come on, let's fall in love,
You're the girl that I really adore,
Come on, let's fall in love...

 1. I Believe (When I Fall in Love It Will Be Forever) – The closing track off Stevie Wonder’s 1972 LP Talking Book.  This song is as good as it gets.  It has a shimmering musical transcendence hauling the listener up from the depths of despair to the alter of eternal love.  I offer this song, today, to the cosmos, wondering in what form it will all come back to me.

All of this makes it's way into this week's soup. You can get your big ass bowl of Saturday Night Soup for the Soul by clicking the jukebox.

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