Tuesday, April 2, 2013

Tony de Carlo's Dinner with the Dead

Tony's Dinner with the Dead

"Tony, which 11 dead souls from history would you invite for a dream dinner? The menu includes a one hour cocktail hour with vegan whore's ovaries, followed by a nine course dinner at 8 PM sharp. After dinner: cigars, brandy, and a floor show.

Explain each choice.

1. Lee Harvey Oswald....Wanna hear his side of the story.

2. Marilyn Monroe......Wanna find out 1). Whether she was murdered and 2) If those Kennedy boys did it.

3. Jesus Christ....Wanna tell him what people have done in his name, and ask him to do what he can to show the world that today’s version of Christianity neither represents him, nor reflects what he taught humanity.

4. Jackie O.......I want all the dirt on JFK

5. Vincent van Gogh.....Wanna ask him for artistic criticism and let him know he didn't have to kill himself because he was a closet case.

6. Abe Lincoln.......I want him to confess he's always loved men and admit that he is sorry that he married that nutball Mary Todd.

Princess Di...Even if she doesn't eat because of her anorexia, she’d be good to look at and be competition for Marilyn.

8. Rock Hudson.....I want to ask who he thought he was ever fooling.

9. Ronald Reagan....I want to let him know he got what he deserved....his golden years spent in Pampers.

10. Hitler........What the hell, he'd be fun to make fun of. What a freak show he was.

11. Roy Cohn Wanna ask him what hell is like.

Above: Here is Hell, where Hitler and Roy Cohn share a little bungalow. Unfortunately, Roy will not be able to join us for dinner due to other pressing engagements

Who would you all invite to your "Dinner with the Dead? ".


RIC said...

Thanks a lot for your marvellous list! Lol! I'll draw mine really soon!
Oh I had some great laughs right now! Thank you, dear Will!
All the best for the grand summit!
Lol! :-)

Anonymous said...

1. My Father - To find out why he was able to motivate so many with his wisdom but, took little to no time for self motivation. A man of few words but, each word rings in with its' own unique wisdom.

2. Jesus Christ - For exactly the same reasons you stated, Will. Straighten it all out, and fulfill world peace as promised.

3. George W. Bush - Okay, so he's alive at this point. It really is a matter of context. I'd like to know what he dislikes of our American Constitution, and why he hates America, and Americans?

4. Dick Cheney - See Bush above. Who was really running the show as the two of them didn't have enough brains for one.

5. Jack Dempsey - (a) To beat the crap out of Bush, and Cheney. (b)Like to know what he would have wanted the world to know.

6. W. C. Fields - How'd he get that way? Ever see those b+w reels? Thx for the laughs but, let's get in some serious discussion.

7. Adolph Hitler. Benito Mussolini. See #5 (a)(repeat endlessly), and add to the list.

8. John, George - Make everything okay for Beatles reunion.

9. Cary Grant - A cinema giant. One more enjoyable performance.

10. Katherine Hepburn - See #9. Maybe she'll bring Spencer Tracy with her. Might need an extra chair.

Read about 'The Spicy Pickle'

Anonymous said...

Turns out, I will need an extra chair because I want to invite Janis Joplin drug free, and ask her to sing.

RIC said...

Finally ready! It's on my blog now and seems rather... Mozartean to me! Lol! I've drawn two lists: a Portuguese one and an international.
Have a look!
Best wishes! :-)

T-Bird said...

I forgot.

Me? Well... Hum… Franklin D. Roosevelt -- a fabulous president, and always ready for elegant dinners. Always served with pre dinner cocktails, and post dinner nightcaps, and always great conversation.

Queen Elizabeth I...I would want her to know that her love -- England -- became great and thrived because of her. She was one incredible woman.

Shostakovich...I would probably be asking him hundreds of questions about specific passages in his works. I'd get him to stay the night if I could and be up late talking all night.

Duke Ellington -- Oh my god what a wonderful artist he was. I would want him to perform for Shostakovich who I am sure would love his compositions

Tchaikovsky -- Another one I could take to for hours and hours and hours. Would LOVE for him to find out how LOVED he is by the ages. He was a tortured soul, and a gentle gay man.

Lincoln... One of the Greatest of all Americans. I met him once -- long story.

Maybe Bette Davis. Bette played Queen Elizebeth twice in her career -- young Elizebeth and old Elizebeth.

My mother.

Greta Garbo -- If I were a woman I would be like her.

Miles Davis. Add him to the sub group of musical greats. Oh the fun we could have with them all performing bits for us all after dinner.

Maybe Stalin, so that Shostakovich could send him packing back to his jail cell in hell w/o dinner.

When Stalin leaves we’ll fill his seat with Rev. Martin Luther King Junior. Another incredible American. Oh I could listen to him take all night, too.

T-Bird said...

Rick, love your list on your site. Cannot read the local one, but I know it is good!

Dave. Wonderful list. Oh Cary and Kate would be great guests to liven it up a bit. Like a great meal, a bit of this and a bit of that.

Read "my father" and had to add "my mother" to mine. I still miss her so...

yes a clean and sober Janis would be nice.. I'll accidently "drop by" JC tell George and Cheney the Hut "You do not knwo me, therefore I do not know you" and cast them down the crapper and pull the handle.

Tha frees up some chairs for you to add more guests. Maybe Brian Epstine.

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